Empowering Parents: How to Request School Accommodations for ADHD, ASD, and Learning Challenges
As a psychologist who works with children and families navigating ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and learning differences, I’ve had the privilege of hearing countless parents share their struggles. Many of them feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and unsure of how to move forward.
“I see how hard my child tries, and it breaks my heart that they’re still falling behind.”
“I’ve asked for help, but no one seems to be listening. I don’t even know what to ask for anymore.”
“My child is so bright, so creative, so full of potential—but the school doesn’t seem to see them the way I do.”
The education system can often feel like an insurmountable maze, especially when your child’s needs don’t fit within its traditional framework. When faced with resistance or vague promises, it’s easy to feel dismissed or stuck, wondering if you’re advocating for your child the right way.
But here’s the truth: You do have the power to make a difference for your child. You have the right to request the accommodations and support they need to thrive. Schools are legally obligated to provide services for children with disabilities, but it’s up to you to identify your child’s unique needs and advocate for the right solutions. By doing so, you’re not only fighting for your child’s success but also teaching them a powerful lesson: They are worthy of support, their needs are valid, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Below are some practical steps you can take to advocate for your child, along with accommodations you can request. The goal is to ensure your child’s educational experience is a reflection of their strengths, needs, and potential. With the right support, they can thrive in a learning environment that helps them succeed.
“Your advocacy now lays the foundation for your child’s future. It tells them: You are seen. You are heard. You matter.”
Trust Your Instincts & Gather Information
The first step in advocating for your child is trusting what you already know: the little things you’ve observed over time, the ways they struggle, and the moments that reveal their unique strengths. Schools often rely on standardized assessments, but you have something just as valuable—your lived experience as their parent. You see their struggles and strengths in ways that no teacher can.
Think of a child like Emily, an 8-year-old with ADHD. She’s bright and curious, but she melts down after school, exhausted from the effort of holding it together all day. Her teacher says she’s "easily distracted," but you see the way she hyper-focuses on her art projects at home, getting lost in the details. Or consider Jake, a 10-year-old with ASD, who panics when the schedule changes and gets labeled "rigid" or "defiant," when in reality, he’s just trying to feel safe in a world that often feels unpredictable.
These stories—the ones you see unfold every day—are crucial. Start by keeping a simple journal. Write down patterns you notice:
Is homework taking hours longer than it should?
Are there frequent meltdowns after school?
Do they struggle with transitions between tasks?
What strategies already help them feel calm and successful?
When you sit down with school staff, having these concrete examples makes it easier to communicate what your child needs.
Understanding Your Child’s Rights: 504 Plans & IEPs
Many parents don't realize that the law is on their side when it comes to supporting children with disabilities such as ADHD, ASD, and learning disorders. Schools are required to provide accommodations to ensure these students have access to the same educational opportunities.
These supports typically come in two forms:
A 504 Plan is a legally binding document that provides accommodations for students with disabilities to ensure they have equal access to education. It’s designed for students who have physical or mental impairments that significantly limit major life activities, such as learning, focusing, or interacting with others. While a 504 Plan does not change a student's curriculum, it offers adjustments that help them participate in school on an equal footing with their peers. These accommodations might include extra time on tests, movement breaks, preferential seating, or the use of assistive technology. The goal of a 504 Plan is to remove barriers that may prevent students from fully accessing their education due to their disability.
An IEP (Individualized Education Program) is a more detailed, specialized plan for students with disabilities who require additional support in school. Unlike a 504 Plan, an IEP provides both accommodations and specialized instruction. It’s designed for students who have one or more disabilities that affect their ability to succeed in a traditional classroom environment. The IEP includes personalized educational goals, strategies for achieving those goals, and a set of services, such as special education teaching, speech therapy, or occupational therapy. The IEP ensures that the student’s educational needs are met through tailored instruction, and it must be reviewed and updated annually.
Understanding whether your child requires a 504 Plan or an IEP is the first step in ensuring that they receive appropriate support.
Learn More: The Difference Between IEPs and 504 Plans
How to Work with Teachers & School Staff
Advocacy doesn’t have to mean confrontation. In fact, the most effective advocacy is built on collaboration. Approach teachers as allies. Instead of saying, “You’re not doing enough,” try, “I want to work with you to find ways to help my child succeed.”
Consider Sarah, the mom of a third-grader with ADHD. At first, she felt defensive when the teacher mentioned her son’s disruptions. But when she shifted the conversation, asking, “What strategies have worked for other students like him?” the teacher opened up. Together, they brainstormed simple tweaks—a visual schedule, more movement breaks, a fidget tool—that made a world of difference.
Most teachers want to help, but they often have large classes and limited resources. By framing advocacy as teamwork, you create an environment where solutions can emerge.
What Accommodations to Ask For
When advocating for your child, it's important to ensure that accommodations are specific, practical, and aligned with their unique needs. The right accommodations can significantly enhance your child's ability to engage with their education, overcome challenges, and build confidence in their learning. Below is a list of common accommodations you may consider requesting, based on your child's individual strengths and areas of support.
For Children with ADHD:
Extra time on assignments and tests
Movement breaks to help manage energy and focus
Use of fidget tools to stay engaged
Visual schedules and reminders for tasks
A quiet space for independent work
For Children with Autism (ASD):
Visual schedules and clear routines to reduce anxiety
Sensory-friendly spaces for breaks
Alternative communication tools if verbal communication is difficult
Support during transitions to reduce stress
Social skills support or peer mentoring to aid in social interactions
For Children with Learning Differences (e.g., Dyslexia, Dysgraphia):
Access to audiobooks and text-to-speech software for reading challenges
Use of a scribe or speech-to-text software for writing tasks
Modified homework assignments that focus on mastery of content
Extended time for assignments and exams
Graphic organizers to help with writing and organizing thoughts
How to Request Accommodations
When you’re ready to talk to the school, here’s how to make sure you’re advocating effectively:
Be Prepared: Gather the information you’ve observed, any diagnoses or assessments your child has received, and specific accommodations that might help. Write down your requests so you can keep the conversation focused.
Communicate Collaboratively: Approach the conversation as a partnership. Instead of saying, “My child needs this,” try, “Here’s what I’ve noticed about my child’s struggles, and I’d love to work together to come up with solutions that will help them succeed.”
Be Specific: The more specific your requests, the easier it is for the school to implement them. For example, instead of asking for “more time,” request a specific amount of extra time for assignments or tests.
Follow Up: Advocacy doesn’t stop after the first meeting. Check in regularly to see how things are going and whether the accommodations are working. If something isn’t working, don’t hesitate to ask for adjustments.
If you find yourself facing resistance or hesitation from the school, don’t lose hope. I know how discouraging it can be when things don’t go as planned, but remember: persistence is key. Keep advocating for your child’s needs, even if one approach doesn’t work. Sometimes, it takes trying a different strategy or having multiple conversations. If you’re still not seeing progress, it might be time to bring in an advocate or an educational psychologist who specializes in accommodations. They can offer the expertise you need to navigate the system and make your case stronger.
And most importantly, know that you have rights. Schools are legally required to provide the support your child needs. Familiarize yourself with those rights, because you are entitled to the resources that will help your child thrive. Keep pushing, stay informed, and don’t be afraid to ask for the help you deserve.
Learn More: 6 Options For Resolving An IEP Dispute
Assessments for Learning Challenges in WA & OR
If you're feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about whether your child qualifies for accommodations or need help understanding the next steps, an assessment can provide the clarity and direction you need. Many parents struggle to pinpoint the root of their child's challenges—whether it’s anxiety, neurodevelopmental differences, or specific learning disabilities—or how to advocate for the right accommodations to ensure academic success. A comprehensive evaluation can uncover any underlying issues, provide insight into your child’s unique learning style, and ensure that you are well-equipped to advocate for the most effective support.
At Webb Psychological Services, we specialize in comprehensive assessments for ADHD, ASD, and learning challenges in children and teens. Serving the Greater Vancouver and Portland areas, we offer expert evaluations that include in-depth testing and recommendations tailored to your child’s unique needs. Whether you're concerned about academic performance, behavioral challenges, or emotional well-being, our goal is to equip you with the information you need to navigate the educational landscape and make informed decisions.
By scheduling a free consultation call, you’ll take an important first step toward understanding your child’s strengths and challenges. We’ll walk you through the entire process, from assessment to actionable recommendations, ensuring that you feel supported every step of the way. Your child deserves the support they need to thrive, and as their advocate, you’re in the best position to make that happen. Don’t wait—schedule your consultation today and start paving the way for your child’s success.
