The Anxious Brain: How Anxiety Affects Information Processing in Kids & Young People
Watching your child struggle with anxiety can be incredibly tough. Whether they’re stressed about a test, overwhelmed by social situations, or upset over seemingly small things, it’s natural to feel concerned—and even helpless. It can be frustrating when it feels like you can’t reach them or ease their worries, leaving you to wonder, “Why is this happening?” or “How can I help?”
It’s important to remember that anxiety isn’t a sign that something is “wrong” with your child. It’s their brain’s way of trying to protect them, even if it sometimes overreacts. Kids and teens are still developing the parts of their brains responsible for emotional regulation, which means stressors can feel more intense, and fears can seem more overwhelming. Add in the pressures of school, friendships, and growing up, and it’s no wonder that anxiety can become all-consuming.
In this post, we’ll explore how anxiety actually changes the way your child’s brain processes information and why they may perceive situations differently than others. By understanding these brain-based differences, you’ll be better equipped to support your child with more empathy, patience, and confidence.
How Anxious Brains Process Information Differently
Imagine this: Your child enters a room, and immediately, their mind starts to race. They notice every little detail, trying to gauge the situation. The smallest sound—a conversation happening across the room—suddenly becomes a focal point. Should they join in? Should they stay quiet? Why does it feel so important to say the "right" thing?
This isn’t just a moment of self-consciousness. It’s the way your child’s brain is processing the world. Their brain is working overtime, scanning for potential threats, analyzing details, and overthinking even the most harmless situations. What may seem like a simple task—like joining a conversation or participating in a group activity—can feel like a major challenge to a child with anxiety. The brain becomes so focused on detecting risks or mistakes that everyday situations become high-stakes scenarios.
Let’s take a closer look at how the anxious brain processes information differently:
Overactive Threat Detection: The brain's amygdala, often referred to as the brain's "alarm system," triggers the fight-or-flight response when a person feels threatened. In anxious children and young people, this system can become overstimulated, causing the brain to constantly scan the environment for signs of danger—even when there’s no actual threat. It’s like a smoke detector that goes off even when there’s no fire. For your child, this means their brain might treat harmless situations—like being called on in class or entering a new social setting—as if they were serious threats.
Focus on Every Detail: Anxious brains have a tendency to zoom in on small details and become fixated on them. This hyper-focus can make it difficult for children to see the bigger picture. For instance, during a test, your child may obsess over one tricky question and replay it over and over, rather than moving on and finishing the rest of the test. This intense focus on tiny details can overwhelm them and increase their stress levels.
Slower Processing: Anxious brains don’t rush through decisions. They double-check everything to avoid mistakes. This cautious approach can make decision-making feel much slower. For example, when asked, “What do you want for dinner?” your child might hesitate, analyzing every option to ensure they make the “right” choice. This slow pace often happens even when the decision is trivial, like choosing what to wear or what to play.
Hyper-Sensitivity to Mistakes: Anxious children are often hypersensitive to mistakes. A small error—like misplacing a pencil or stumbling over words during a presentation—can feel catastrophic. Their brain amplifies the mistake, making them feel as though they’ve failed. This heightened sensitivity can make it difficult for them to bounce back from minor setbacks.
Freezing Under Pressure: When anxiety peaks, some children may experience a freeze response. This is the brain’s way of trying to protect them from what it perceives as a threat, but it can leave your child feeling stuck, unable to speak or act. This freeze response can be especially frustrating when it happens in everyday situations like taking part in class discussions or joining a group activity. The brain, overwhelmed by the anxiety, essentially "shuts down" to protect itself.
Recognizing these patterns in your child's behavior can help you better understand what they’re going through. When we see anxiety as a brain-based response, it can be easier to approach their challenges with empathy, patience, and compassion. Understanding that their brain is working hard—sometimes too hard—can help us support them in ways that reduce anxiety and build their confidence over time.
How To Help Your Anxious Child
Supporting an anxious child can feel overwhelming, but the good news is that there are practical ways to help them navigate their feelings. Progress may take time, and it won't be a quick fix, but small, consistent steps can make a big difference. Remember, every child is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. Finding the right strategy may involve some trial and error. Keep in mind that other factors, such as ADHD, learning challenges, or past trauma, can also amplify anxiety, so acknowledging these influences can help you provide more effective support. The goal is not to "fix" your child but to equip them with tools to manage their anxiety in healthy ways.
Here are some strategies to help you get started:
Regulate Yourself First: Before supporting your child, it’s crucial to manage your own emotions. Children are highly attuned to their parents’ feelings, and if you’re anxious or overwhelmed, it can unintentionally amplify their anxiety. Take a moment to ground yourself—practice deep breathing, step outside for fresh air, or use a calming technique that works for you. By modeling emotional regulation, you not only help yourself stay steady but also teach your child valuable coping skills. Prioritizing your own self-care, including seeking therapy if needed, also ensures you have the emotional capacity to provide consistent and supportive guidance.
Validate Their Feelings: Children with anxiety often feel misunderstood or ashamed of their emotions. Acknowledge their experience and reassure them that they’re not alone. Instead of saying “Don’t worry, you’ll do great!” try something like, “I can see this is really stressing you out, and that’s completely understandable—I’m here with you, and we’ll work through this together.” This helps your child feel heard, supported, and less alone. It also encourages them to view their anxiety as something manageable.
Reframe Anxiety as a Protective Response: Help your child understand that anxiety is their brain's way of trying to keep them safe, even if it sometimes reacts too strongly. Try saying, “Your brain is like an alarm system, sending warning signals to protect you, even when there’s no real danger.” Explain the “fight or flight” response with something like, “When your brain senses something might be scary, it hits the gas pedal to prepare you for a challenge—even if it’s just a test or a new situation.” Age-appropriate diagrams or videos about how the brain works during anxiety can make this concept easier to grasp, normalize their experience, and reduces fear around the anxiety itself.
Practice Calming Techniques: Equip your child with practical tools to manage anxiety, such as deep breathing, listening to soothing music, squeezing a stress ball, journaling, or grounding exercises like naming five things they can see, hear, or feel around them. Creating a personalized “calm down” kit filled with comforting items or activities can also provide them with a go-to resource during stressful moments. Practicing these techniques together not only reinforces their effectiveness but also strengthens your bond, showing your child they’re not alone in facing their challenges. For added support, a professional can help tailor strategies to your child’s unique needs.
Encourage Gradual Exposure: Avoidance can make anxiety worse over time. Start small—if your child is nervous about a new class, help them visit the classroom beforehand or meet the teacher. If they have a big presentation at school, have them practice alone first, then in front of you. Or, if they’re afraid of dogs, begin with looking at pictures of dogs, then watch videos, and slowly work up to being around real dogs. Over time, they’ll build confidence in handling uncomfortable situations.
Reinforce Efforts, Not Just Outcomes: Praise your child for their bravery and effort in facing their fears, even if things don’t go perfectly. For example, “I saw how nervous you were, but you still went to your first swim class. That’s really brave of you!”
With patience, consistency, and the right tools, your child can learn to manage anxiety in a healthy way.
When to Seek Professional Help for Your Anxious Child
While thes strategies above can help, sometimes anxiety becomes overwhelming and professional help is needed. If your child’s anxiety is interfering with their daily life—such as their ability to go to school, engage with friends, or participate in activities—it may be time to seek additional support.
Signs that your child may benefit from professional help include:
Persistent physical symptoms of anxiety, like stomachaches, headaches, or sleep disturbances.
Significant changes in behavior, such as withdrawal, avoidance, procrastination, mood swings, or angry outbursts.
Difficulty managing emotions or completing tasks, even with coping strategies in place.
Seeking support from a trained psychologist who specializes in working with children can also help identify any other underlying issues, such as ADHD or past trauma, and offer tailored strategies to help your child manage their anxiety.
Psychological Testing for Anxiety in Portland & Vancouver
At Webb Psychological Services, we understand how difficult it can be to watch your child struggle with anxiety. Whether it's affecting their school performance, social interactions, or overall well-being, anxiety can have a significant impact. That’s why we offer comprehensive psychological assessments for families in Greater Portland and Vancouver, designed to not only identify anxiety but also uncover any other underlying factors that may be contributing to your child's emotional and academic challenges.
Our holistic approach involves collaborating with you, your child's teachers, and other professionals to get a full picture of their strengths and challenges. This thorough understanding allows us to provide personalized, actionable recommendations that go beyond identifying problems. We help equip your child with tools to manage anxiety, improve emotional regulation, and build self-confidence, ensuring they thrive both in school and in life.
Next Steps: Getting Started with Psychological Testing for Your Child
Begin the evaluation process and gain insights into how to best support your child.
Receive personalized strategies to support and empower your child.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward understanding your child's needs and creating a path to their success, schedule a free consultation today. Let’s work together to help your child reach their full potential!
Dr. Liliya Webb is a licensed clinical psychologist in Washington and Oregon, and the founder of Webb Psychological Services, where she specializes in comprehensive assessments for children, teens, and families. With a deep understanding of how anxiety impacts the developing brain, Dr. Webb offers comprehensive evaluations to help families understand and manage anxiety effectively.
Her compassionate, thorough approach provides families with clear insights into their child’s unique emotional and cognitive challenges. Whether you're concerned about your child's anxiety or looking for strategies to support their mental well-being, Dr. Webb works collaboratively with families to create actionable solutions that promote emotional balance, academic success, and overall thriving.